George and the kitty bat signal
For the past couple months I have devoted much of my time to creating my new website, posting in my Etsy shop, researching galleries, working on my resume... which has been great, but I am really feeling the pull to go back to my easel and to go deeper with my art. With the internet it seems everything has become about speed, production, selling and staying at the cutting edge, which can be super inspiring! But I also have found that swimming in that pressure can drown out my uniqueness and authenticity in an effort to "win".
My husband is an Art Therapist with an amazing eye, so I have very little wiggle room when it comes to "faking it"on my canvases before he will call me on it. What I mean by "faking it" is faking it to myself, faking it to others, faking the claim "I am am artist". To me being an artist entails brave self-excavation, digging into truths unseen that can be brought to light with a brush. Even in the seemingly most simple painting, of the most light hearted of subjects it all comes down to storytelling, so the question is what is the story? What I have found in the last couple years is that the truth can only be danced out of me, whenever I plan, contrive, imitate, or push I only end up with crap. Because I am trying to tell something than allow something. The stories worth giving our hearts to often come in through the back door, trip us up, catch us off guard and reveal something unexpected. Depth is so allusive, but I think that is all we really see when we look at art - the sub text, and if the sub text is brave and sincere the subject of the painting becomes just a vessal to deliver the underlying mood and emotions.
I love where my art is starting to go. I intend to strip down a little more, to let go of my fears of making mistakes, or creating something that is or too strange so I can loosen the reigns, and watch my art unfold into something more that I have ever seen from myself. And most importantly STOP getting consumed by what other people are doing! Take a break from Etsy and paint like no one will ever see. Paint from my heart.